Overcoming the World

I want you to take a moment and look at the world. Look at the state it's in. Look at everything that's going on.

...crazy, right?

Morals are being compromised at an alarming rate. Things that never used to be okay are now considered normal. Here's one example (please forgive the accuracy of the following statistics--I'm going from secondhand information because I can't use Google): about 100 years ago, committing adultery was still considered a crime in the United States, subject to substantial fine or even jail sentence. And now, something like 60% of couples cohabit before they're married, which is, in effect, committing adultery. If the same rules from 100 years ago still applied, 60% of couples in the US would be in jail right now.

Think about that for a second.

Moral values in this world have changed drastically. Do you really think that morality has changed, or man's perception of morality? I don't know about any of you, but I believe in eternal Truth. Right and Wrong are concrete; they don't change. God's rules don't change because of what His rebellious children think they want to do.

A lot of these things in the world today are poisonous. There's some seriously harmful stuff out there. I think one of the greatest tasks of mortality is to learn to overcome these negative moral influences--to rise above the "world," so to speak.

I'm reminded of a story from the Old Testament. When Moses was leading the Israelites through the wilderness, they came across some fiery serpents (poisonous snakes) that started biting people. Moses asked the Lord what to do, and under His direction, "Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived" (Numbers 21:9). All the people had to do was look at a brass snake and they would be healed of all their afflictions. They just had to look, and they would be able to overcome this trial of the world. 

I don't know about you, but if I were one of the Israelites, I would be looking at that snake about like this.

That brass serpent was a symbol of Christ. If we look to Him--if we stick to the moral guidelines and strive to live the teachings that Christ gave us--we would be build upon a solid moral foundation. We would be okay when the world hit us from every direction. "...Remember, remember, that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Helaman 5:12, Book of Mormon).

As we look to Christ, we can overcome the world. As we embrace Him and His teachings, we can not only rise above many temptations and negative influences, but we can find peace and joy from His love.

Embrace the brass serpent.

(I know, it's a stretch, but I wanted to show off the snake I caught...)

Friends, I know how important it is to stand on high moral ground in this stormy world we live in. I promise, you can find much more happiness here than you can anywhere else. I know because I've looked elsewhere--I've checked out both sides of this--and the other side has nothing you want. If you want to find lasting joy in this world of instant gratification, send me a message or a letter. I can help you. Promise.

Thoughts on a Hard Day

You know, sometimes being a missionary is really hard. It's hard when people reject what we have to offer them, door after door after door. It's really hard when people accept what we teach them and then don't do anything about it, therefore giving up the happiness and blessings they could have. It's ridiculously hard when every appointment we have falls through and we end up wandering aimlessly, feeling like we're not fulfilling our purpose. It's really hard to feel lost and confused. It's hard to feel homesick. It's hard to feel alone.

(And since I recognize that people other than missionaries have problems too...)

It's hard to lose your job. It's hard to fail a class. It's hard to lose a loved one or to watch someone else suffer a loss. It's hard to be sick. It's hard to watch people struggle with illness. It's hard to lose your home. It's hard to lose your friends. There are so many things in life that are just... hard.

Heavenly Father doesn't like to see us struggle. He doesn't like it when we're hurting or facing hard things. He will provide the help that any Father would in times of need--provide words of comfort, be a shoulder to cry on, make other things in life a little bit easier for us--but He will not take our trials away from us.

And that is one of the greatest gifts He gives to us.

God has different things in store for us than we have for ourselves. And sometimes it can be really hard.

(Photo credit: Sister Hallie Hillner, OEM)

Sometimes our problems don't have solutions; sometimes our questions don't have answers. Sometimes the only option is just to suffer through things until they pass. But what a blessing it is to know that we don't have to do it alone! The Solution and the Answer is in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The Book of Mormon sheds some light:

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. 

12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities. 

13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.

(Alma 7:11-13) 

Christ felt all of our pains, sicknesses, sins, troubles, and trials. He knows how we feel, so He can give us the comfort we seek. Something I'm coming to learn about the Atonement of Christ is that it's not a magic cure-all to every problem we have; He won't take away our suffering. But He will provide comfort and added strength as we come unto Him and rely on Him. He will let us know that even though things are hard, we're not alone. Sometimes that's the only thing He has to offer.

And sometimes that's enough.

What gets you through hard times?

If you are having a hard time and you want to talk about it, feel free to send me a message. If you want to know how the gospel can help you, I'd love to teach you. Again, just shoot me a message.

Watch Your Words!

Since I'm a sister missionary and sister missionaries are totally adorable, I've learned a few tricks for teaching things to kids so they can remember what we talk about. We have these little hand signals for each of the Ten Commandments so that kids can learn them in the order they were given. One of my favorites is the signal for the third commandment, "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." The signal is to use 3 fingers (since it's the third commandment) and put them over your lips, like this: 

To help little kids understand what this commandment means, we tell them to "Watch your words!" No swearing or taking God's name in vain. I never really thought this commandment was a huge deal, but I have come to see lately how important it is that we watch our words. You can tell a lot about a person's character by the way they speak.

In Matthew, some Pharisees were mocking Jesus and His apostles because they were eating without having washed their hands. They claimed that Christ's apostles were unclean because of it--they discredited the Apostles' character. Christ taught a bit of valuable truth to them:

17 Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
 (Matthew 15:17-20)

Heavenly Father gave us this commandment to help us develop good character. (And if there's one thing this world needs, it's people of character.) The things that come out of our mouths define us. Our words reflect our hearts. The things we say--and think--determine our actions. Our actions become habits. And our habits develop into our character. 

What do your words say about your character?

Have You Ever Wondered?

I'm sure that most of you have seen Mormon missionaries walking/biking around town. Have you ever wondered what they're doing?

Some of you have probably had missionaries knock on your door. You likely told them you weren't interested in what they had to say. You probably said something along the lines of, "I'm comfortable with the church I go to now," or , "I don't like discussing religion with people." Or, my personal favorite: "I don't believe in your religion."

Have you ever wondered what they had to say?

Think about it for a minute. These 18 and 19 and 20-year-old boys and girls are standing on your doorstep. You ask them where they're from (because that's the first question everyone always asks) and you realize that they're far from home. These young adults leave behind everything--school, work, family, friends, dating, everything they know--for 18-24 months to share something with other people. They do this of their own free will with no expectation of compensation; missionaries actually pay to do what they do. They pay around $10,000 to leave everything familiar behind for a year and a half or two years to knock on your door--a total stranger to them--and tell you about something they hold dear. A book. A prophet. A Savior. A plan.

If these young people make such sacrifices to have extremely awkward moments--and believe me, you have some really uncomfortable experiences as a missionary--in the hopes of sharing something they hold to be very valuable and life-changing, don't you think it would be worth your time to hear them out?

Next time you see some Mormon missionaries out and about, think of your old friend Rachel. That's exactly what I'm doing right now in Oregon. So however you would treat me, I want you to do the same for any missionaries you see. Hear them out. See what they have to say. 

You never know, it just might change your life.

Profound Silence

"...and all those things were done in a profound silence." [Alma 57:17]

Profound silence. Those are some of the most beautiful words I think I've ever heard.

This verse is actually referring to a group of people arming their prisoners for war. The Nephites (the Book of Mormon good guys) snuck into the Lamanites' camp (the bad guys) and gave weapons of war to the Nephite men, women, and children who had been taken captive. The Nephites were fighting to defend their families, their liberty, and their religion against the spiteful attacks of the Lamanites. They took every precaution to defend their cities, even when those acts of defense put them in danger. In this particular passage, they came into the camp in the middle of the night--while the Lamanites were asleep--to help their people defend themselves.

And these defenses had to be made in a profound silence.

I think that's really significant; if they'd made any noise, they would have awoken their enemies, which would have invited their enemies to come and attack them. The silence helped them avoid danger. It saved their lives, and the lives of those whom they went to assist.

Thinking about my own life, a lot of important moments have involved silence.

The time I knew my best friend was really my best friend was this one time when we were driving around town, neither one of us speaking, and I was actually comfortable. I didn't feel awkwardly compelled to speak. I didn't feel the need to fill the silence with noise like I usually do around other people. The silence wasn't awkward or sad; it was an unspoken confirmation of our friendship. It had profound meaning to me.

A particular image of peace and joy comes to mind. I was sitting in my backyard on a summer day, enjoying the sunshine and solitude. A warm breeze rustled through the trees, making the only audible sound in that moment. I felt no worry, no trouble, no anxiety or sadness, even though I was headed off to another state for college in just a few days. I was just calm. In that moment of profound silence, the quiet trees seemed to whisper to me, "You can do this."

I typically like to listen to music while I study and work, but I've found that I need silence when I study the scriptures. With no distractions--no invitations extended to the influences of the world to occupy my mind--I can learn of deep truths and eternal matters. I can feel the Spirit teaching me the things I need to learn. It is only in silence that these things can be heard. The things I can learn in silence defend me against many of the negative influences of this world.

A companion and I taught a lesson to a young woman several months ago, and we showed her a piece of doctrine that she had never considered before. She sat in profound silence for a moment, pondering what we had said, feeling the Spirit teach her. And she said, "It's true. It must be. You're right." That was one of the most satisfying moments I've had on my mission--helping one of God's daughters to understand her purpose. It took that moment of profound silence for her to understand, and she is so much better off for it.

I'm a firm believer that silence--profound silence--is absolutely necessary for our mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. We need a moment of stillness now and then to breathe, to ponder, to remember the important things. In a world of noise and confusion, sometimes you just need to be calm.

Take a moment of silence today and tell me about it.

On Mistakes and Name Tags

Let me tell you a little story about the time(s) I lost my name tag. Preface: you should understand that as a Mormon missionary, my name tag is an essential part of who I am. It has my current name--Sister Nealy--and the name of the Church and the Man I represent. It sets me apart from the world and allows others to identify me as a follower of Christ. Basically, it's just really, really important to me.

That being said... it's story time.

About 5 months ago, I was serving in Corvallis, OR. One rainy day, my companion and I were rushing around town, heading from one teaching appointment to the next. Somewhere along the way, I looked down at my jacket and realized that my name tag was no longer clipped to my collar. I had no idea what had happened to it, and I started freaking out. I needed that tag! I could not let anyone else find it; it had to stay in the right hands.

In a panic, I drove us back to the area where we'd just been. I was saying a prayer in my heart that I'd be able to find it, that Heavenly Father would lead me back to the spot where my tag had fallen off. After frantically looking around all the streets and sidewalks we'd been on that day, I got discouraged and gave up.

The next day, we had another appointment in that same area. We were getting back into our car after our lesson, and I hear my companion say, "Sister Nealy, I found your name tag! But... uh..." She picked it up, and it was in pieces. Turns out I'd accidentally run it over with the car. My most prized possession, and I ran over it with a car. I was so sad; I hadn't intentionally done anything wrong, but my name tag still got destroyed. So I called the mission office the next morning and paid $4 to order a new one.

My badge of honor.

A few weeks ago, my two companions & I were at the beach in Bandon. It was a gorgeous day--unseasonably warm for January--so we decided to spend a little bit of our Preparation Day time taking pictures at the beach. I'd seen some really cool pictures of missionaries' name tags in the sand by the ocean, and I wanted to duplicate them.

So I took off my name tag (there was my first mistake), put it in the sand at what I thought was a safe distance from the ocean, and crouched down to snap the photo when the foam came up from the waves. It looked like such a great shot. But then the wave came up a lot higher than I expected, and... well...

Long story short, the ocean ate my name tag.

After much panicking and prayer, I again gave up trying to find it. I guess I deserved that one for basically throwing my name tag into the ocean; that was just a really bad idea on my part. I had to humble myself and call the mission office, pay another $4, and order another new one.

Approximately 0.5 seconds after this photo was taken, my name tag disappeared forever.

Since then, I've been a lot more careful about keeping my name tag safe. I've been very determined not to take it off for any reason, to jostle it around unnecessarily, or to do anything that might make it fall off.

But just the other day, as my companion and I came home for lunch here in Coquille, I looked down and noticed my name tag gone again! I was really upset. I mean, I hadn't even done anything stupid this time! I felt terrible. What kind of missionary loses three name tags? The worst kind, obviously. Ugh. I did not want to swallow my pride and order another one when I hadn't even done anything to lose it this time.

Then I thought--maybe there's a lesson to be learned from all of this. Since everything can be related to the gospel...

Calling the mission office has been kind of like accessing the Atonement. The Atonement of Jesus Christ allows us to correct things we've done wrong, and it gives comfort and peace in hard times. There is a price to pay--we feel guilt and we must suffer the natural consequences of our actions--but "all that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ" (Preach My Gospel: A Guide to Missionary Service, 52).

I had the option to swallow my pride, call the mission office again, and pay $4 to order a new name tag (which, come to think about it, is a small price to pay to keep my identity). It didn't matter how I lost the tag, whether or not it was my fault, or how many times I'd already called in. The wonderful people in the mission office didn't even ask  me those questions. They just showed me love & kindness as I went to them for help.

Our Savior is the same way. He knows when we make bad choices and when bad things just happen to us. He knows how to help us, and He wants to. When we come unto Christ with a sincere heart in our time of need, He will give us the help we seek. He promises us, "I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee" (Joshua 1:5), regardless of the circumstances.

I'm grateful for a wonderful mission office that allows me to correct my mistakes & misfortunes, and I'm eternally grateful for a Savior who loves me and wants to help me no matter what stupid decisions I may make.

If any of you have any questions about the Atonement or how you can apply it to your life, please, comment or send me a message. I'd be more than happy to help you take advantage of this glorious gift.

Fixing Broken Things

Many of you know that I'm fascinated by mental disorders. When I'm not a missionary, I'm avidly learning about psychology and all the various things that can go wrong with a person's personality or mood. My plan for when my mission is over is to pursue a PhD in clinical psychology so I can participate in research and diagnostics for people with disorders like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and antisocial personality disorder.

As strange as it sounds, there's one disorder that is especially close to my heart--Major Depressive Disorder. I have several close friends and loved ones who deal with this condition. Thinking of these loved ones--and everyone else who has depression--makes me want so badly to help in any way I can.

Being a missionary, I'm taking time off from my passion of psychology to focus on my other passion--the gospel of Jesus Christ. I signed up to spend 18 months out here to help others improve their spiritual well-being as opposed to their mental well-being. What I didn't realize (though I probably should have) is how closely related those two things are.

This talk is probably one of my favorite things that I've ever heard. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, one of the Twelve Apostles on the earth today, gave this address to the Church in October of 2013. It deeply touched my heart; I want to encourage all of you to read/watch it.

This talk touches a lot on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Through the Atonement, all things will be made whole. Elder Holland said near the end of this address: "Though we may feel we are “like a broken vessel,” as the Psalmist says, we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter. Broken minds can be healed just the way broken bones and broken hearts are healed. While God is at work making those repairs, the rest of us can help by being merciful, nonjudgmental, and kind."

Mental disorders are something that doctors of psychology are still trying to understand. We don't know how to cure them or what causes them. We may never fully understand these issues in this life, although we will continue to do what we can. I find great comfort in the thought that those who suffer from mental illness can be succored to some degree in this life by an understanding Savior; I find great joy in knowing that all will be made whole in the eternities. 

I am grateful for a combined understanding of things both temporal and eternal. I will devote my professional life to finding immediate treatments for disorders, and I will continue to devote my spiritual life to helping others find the healing balm of peace through the Atonement.